Today marks the 1st year since Healer’s Lodge was officially put out to the world, and I just want to mark this milestone with a simple post.
Have you ever seen something so breathtakingly beautiful that you don’t know what you are going to do with it but just KNOW that you have to have it?
Well, that’s basically how I stumbled upon the idea of Healer’s Lodge. I had a vision, in my mind, of a place that one could dwell in peace... where one can meditate in silence and just let go of all worries, fears, and just be... but I had no clue how this vision would ever take shape—I just knew I had to start ‘somewhere’.
The beginning of that journey turned out to be the end of my corporate one. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but nonetheless, when my boss asked me if I had any specific plan in mind after that, I remembered shrugging my shoulders and going, “I’ll give myself three years and see where it takes me.”
If I had to be honest, I hadn’t even thought of where I would be in the next six months.
A Symbol From The Cloud
I was on the plane en route Chiang Mai after my 2-weeks retreat in Plum Village back in 2019. My mind was still fresh from the beautiful experience at the monastery and I felt deeply invigorated and inspired. I remembered sitting by the airplane window and just looking out at the vast, endless clouds, thinking but not thinking, just feeling peaceful and relaxed... and before I even registered what happened, I’d found myself staring down at my palms and making a cupping gesture with them as if I was scooping someone’s head in a Reiki treatment. Little did I know that that spontaneous little gesture would later become my inspiration for Healer’s Lodge’s logo.
I had always knew that I would have to undertake the design of the logo myself. No one else could have understood its significance to me, nor conveyed the exact kind of energy that I had envisaged in my mind. The more I started to put two and two together, the more I discovered that the logo had actually designed itself. I merely refined it.
Two hands to represent Reiki healing, obviously. Yet, hands are also a representation of compassion and loving kindness. The human touch is a very powerful form of communication – if you look at it, our first sense of what it means to be loved, safe and secure came from the touch of our mothers right from birth. Indeed, nothing is as healing as the human touch...
Then a friend took a look at the initial draft of the logo and said, “You know, the outline of the hands in the middle looks like a Bodhi tree.”
Shelter. Harbour. Safety. Peace. Calm. Balance. For those who need and those who seek.
You see, the logo designed itself. I was just a facilitator to its unfolding.
A Virtual Lodge
In my previous stint in a tiny startup, I had to set up a website due to budget constraint. In hindsight, it was good that I had that experience since now I had to create one for Healer’s Lodge as well. I had a rough skeletal idea of how I wanted it to be but coming up with the flesh was tougher. Would people even care if I have this or that? What would entice people to stay? How can I make it easier for people to move around the site? How can I make the site stickier? There was still so much of that corporate conditioning in me that had to be assured of and released gently.
In the end, I decided to simply flow with this mantra : “Just make the most of everything, do your best, and enjoy the process!”
And enjoyed the process I did! I had so much fun playing with the different effects— even dabbling in a little bit of coding just to make it more interesting. It was every bit for the world as it was for me. Immersing all of me into the creation of this virtual shrine was a lesson of mindfulness in itself. There were times when I noticed so much tension in my body as I struggled to get the coding right. The frustration in me arising when the damn bugs reappeared again. The doubting voice that crept up when yet another person asked, “What are you doing actually?” The fear and anxiety that reared its neck as the launch date loomed...
Keep breathing... keep breathing... be kind to myself... be kind to myself...
Showing Up
Everything happens for a reason. I had thrown myself into working on the website immediately after my breakup. Looking back, you could say that it provided me with the impetus to push ahead without further distraction. There was a renewed enthusiasm to make Healer’s Lodge happen. Perhaps it was destined that I should use my own experience in life to ‘heal myself, then heal others’.
There was no hiding anymore. I was fully intent to show up and if it means exposing all my vulnerability, then so be it.
Three months of labouring later, Healer’s Lodge was officially birthed.
THE JOURNEY SO FAR
Baby Steps
The first steps are always the hardest, but, I should add, also the most memorable and fulfilling. Because we always remember our first-everything. The first booking. The first client. The first referral. The first repeat. The first thank-you message. The first review. The first post. The first subscriber. The first prank call. The first no-show.
The first milestone.
A year on, so much had unfolded and transpired. And as I look back, there is much to cry over and even more to laugh about. What started out as a fool’s journey, had, in truth, been a rollercoaster ride filled with ups and downs.
Overcoming Fear
Taking that first step into the unknown has shown me that the only thing that can hold us back is fear. Had I balked at the tedious ascend uphill, I might never get to experience the adrenaline of the downward rush. Did that fear of failure materialize as the mind told me it would? Nope, it didn’t. Sure, things haven’t happened as fast as I had wanted, but it certainly wasn’t a failure. In fact, considering how I started from point zero, to be where I am now even if only ten metres ahead, has been a great success! ;p
Celebrate Tiny Successes
Yes, any improvement IS an improvement. And an improvement calls for a celebration no matter how! I remembered treating myself to a foot reflexology session right after securing a new client. It wasn’t me getting ahead of myself - it was me celebrating getting another step ahead. Tiny steps may be tiny but they are proof that we are moving and a motivation to keep going!
Trust and Surrender
There were days when I seriously doubted if I could ever pull this off or if I should just give up and go back to a stable 9-5 job. When bookings suddenly dwindled. When bills started piling. When clients disappeared or went silent. When self-doubt crept up and the voice in the head mocked, “See I told you so.”
Trusting the greater work of the Universe and surrendering to the flow of life meant that I had to learn to lean into my vulnerability and discomfort and allow myself to flow with them.
It was interesting to observe how every single challenge and encounter would lead to more unpeeling of my own shadow layers… and when one layer is healed, another comes along to expose another... It felt as if the Universe had everything planned and I just had to go along and learn, and learn as I go along.
Self-doubt? A client would miraculously turn up and remind me of my calling as a healer.
Overwhelmed by coursework? Bookings would suddenly stop… and then miraculously resume as soon as my assignments were completed.
Etcetera, etcetera.
The more I learnt to trust and surrender, the more at ease I became. The more at ease I am, the easier I flow with life.
Gratitude (but of course!)
All the clients who came my way and trusted me on their healing journey. All the clients who came to teach me something. All my followers and subscribers whom I may not have seen in person but who have given me so much encouragement just by their presence.
In Reiki, we talk about us being a great, bright light. I truly believe that everyone is a great, bright light spreading our light and inspiring people around us. So whoever you are, thank you for spreading your great, bright light and inspiring me.
The Journey Continues
I may never earn the same amount of money as before but in the same note, the joy of doing what I love, on my own terms, and just having the freedom to BE, is not something I am willing to trade off. Had I not given up on this, I might never have gotten that.
A year on, I still don’t know where this journey will take me.
And guess what? I don’t need to.
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